COMBATTING INSTANT GRATIFICATION
I don’t think I know one person who has made their dreams reality who didn’t master the art of delayed gratification!
INSTANT GRATIFICATION IS A DREAM STEALER
I heard this said this past weekend and I started to think about how accurate it is.
We live in an instant gratification world. We can practically order anything to our homes from our phone, and it will be here in anywhere from minutes to a couple of days.
Because our brains have gotten used to this, it can be very difficult to flex the delaying of gratification muscles. Even when we know that is the choice that will serve us better long-term.
Areas in which people have trouble delay gratifying:
YOLO Spending
Doing things outside of your value system for money
Food
Casual Sex/Affairs
Alcohol/Drugs
Why do you think these are the most problematic areas?
My guess is because the first consequence of these things is fun and enjoyment.
But what are the second and third consequences if someone walks themself down the path towards the day after, the week after, etcetera?
If we could properly walk down the order of consequence path, we would probably end up making a different decision. But the thought of that immediate dopamine hit has a powerful hold on us!!
The other way instant gratification can derail us, is the expectation that we will get what we want in a couple months vs having to work steadily towards it for a number of years. The microwave mentality.
Anything worth having is going to take time and consistency and is NOT going to be instant gratification, but people often quit in the middle of their pursuit because in their mind it’s “taking too long”.
What are some basic dreams people have that can be easily thrown off by the pursuit of comfort…
Health related- working out, eating clean, etc.
Relational- Deep rooted connection with spouse, kids, parents, etc
Financial- No debt, fat emergency account, investment portfolio, financial independence, etc
Spiritual- Close connection with the higher power they believe in, no unforgiveness in their heart, knowledge of their intrinsic worth and where it comes from, etc.
Now the above are very general dreams, but many of them are stepping stones to the HUGE dreams that so many of us have because they are imperative to a foundation that can support a massive dream.
Small healthy decisions made daily are what compound into incredible results, but without the ability to delay gratify we can’t build up enough small decisions to see their impact.
Yes, being the master of our decisions creates freedom, but I don’t believe this is something we can achieve completely on our own.
So how do we stop letting our emotions drive us, resist our desire for the next dopamine hit and stay on track with what we want longterm vs how we feel in the immediate:
Take a moment before making the choice - take some breaths and allow your logic brain to come back into action.
Make the behaviors you want to avoid difficult to access
For example…
- Workout with a buddy for accountability so you don’t succumb to oversleeping
- Write down everything you eat and spend money on in a week. I guarantee you won’t eat/buy some things simply because you don’t want to write them down.
- Turn your phone off and put it in a drawer while you’re working on an important project
- If there is a social circle in which you end up overindulging in alcohol or doing drugs, don’t go hang out with those people (I know this is easier said than done, boundaries with relationships that aren’t centered on the right things can be difficult to create, especially if you’ve known people for a long time)
3. Surround yourself with people who make delaying gratification the norm
4. Stop caring what other people think -
HA! I realize again, this is easier said than done, but it MUST be done if we want to be someone or accomplish something that’s different than what most people are becoming and accomplishing.
These last two go hand in hand. I don’t think you can do 4 without 3, and because I’ve gotten many questions about how to find healthy guidance/association I will do a full post on that next week.
Please write to me with specific questions/comments. I LOVE hearing from you all, and I do my best to respond to everything that comes in.
WE THINK YOU’LL ENJOY. . .
